I’m going to let y’all all in on a little secret that it took me way too long to figure out on my own – Nobody knows what they’re doing. We’re all just making it up as we go along, there’s no guide book or map to consult for the real game of life.
As someone who has always done her best to respect authority, I spent the majority of my life under the assumption that they all knew better than I did. It was a complete shock to my system to learn that those to whom I listened so intently didn’t necessarily have all the answers. I distinctly remember piecing together that my father did not inherently know better on how I should spend my life just because he was older and was responsible for my existence. He’d always seemed so sure he did that I believed him.
We’re all doing the best we can with what we have. Once you realize that, it becomes much easier to navigate other people’s advice, suggestions and reactions to your life and decisions. We see everything through the lens of our own life experiences, how could we not? So when you tell a friend or family member your greatest dream, they’re probably going to react as if you’d asked them to pursue it. And if they’re too scared, you can bet that’s going to make its way into their reaction. Remember when we discussed The Four Agreements? Their words and actions have very little to do with you, and everything to do with them.
They care about you and want what’s best for you, or else they wouldn’t spend the time and energy to have a reaction at all. Where things get tricky is that in their mind, what’s best for you is most likely what’s best for them. Just remember that doesn’t always make it true. A wise woman once told me (thank you, Lisa!) that familiarity will always trump healthy. This has stuck with me, because if you pay attention, people will try hard to keep things the way they are – even if it’s not necessarily the best option for those involved.
So if you’re trying to make big changes, understand that not everyone is going to be on board. And that’s ok, all that truly matters is that you’re on board. Nobody has all the answers in life – but if anybody is an expert in you and your life, I’d go all in on it being you. Trust yourself. Always.
One thought on “Psst…I’ve got a secret”
AMEN, girlfriend. And I adore that line…familiarity trumps healthy. So true!